lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
