Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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