there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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