just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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