Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
