I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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