Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
