just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
