doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
