Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
