there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
