Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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