Your tits are I can't wait for
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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