physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
