I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
