i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
