Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
