Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
