brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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