Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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