Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
