Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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