You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
