Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
