you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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