i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
