I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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