the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
