the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
