Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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