I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
