I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
