after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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