And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
