...so i touched it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
