Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
