I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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