Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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