Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Operation Purity has been aborted
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
