I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
