I just made out with a guy for $7.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
