If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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