scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I want her autograph on my taint
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
