He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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