Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
