I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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