He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
