It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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