I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
