I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
