He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
