Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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