Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize