He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
