Your tits are I can't wait for
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
