i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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