My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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