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she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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