You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
