I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
