I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
