oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize