i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
