It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
