Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
