He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
