Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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